Updated: Oct 19, 2019
For the first time I’m in my life, I’m aligned with my most authentic higher calling. It has brought me to creating this website, as well as expressing my innermost progressive thoughts with all of you!
I was a little scared of this at first, exposing my journey and my emotional, mental, and spiritual transformation—but my adventures with spirit and sacred medicine taught me to trust the universe and to trust myself.
Through the universe’s wisdom, I learned to love myself. Because of this self-love, I’ve fell into a most spectacular dance with magic and a higher awareness about life.
For a long time before discovering this higher awareness, I was miserable. I tried drug after drug and psychiatrist after psychiatrist.
I was desperate to find a way above the torment, but the conventional world just wasn’t doing it for me.
After thirty years of the allopathic world failing me, I told my doctor I’d go home and try to figure something else out. I began to dive down the rabbit hole of the internet and discovered others with similar stories. Eventually this lead me to ayahuasca.
I found promising results from people that were meeting with shamans in the Amazon. I received a feeling in my gut that this medicine could work for me. That was the exact moment I started weaning myself off the psychiatric medication.
If I was to take ayahuasca, I had to be off the meds for a month. Shortly after that time, I found a place in Kentucky that served the medicine and was only three hours away. I wanted to go to Peru, but had never experienced a psychedelic before, so I decided to try it a little closer to home to see if it would help me first.
After two ceremonies, I immediately found hope. The ceremonies taught me that my thoughts were critical. At the time, I thought I was a very positive person because I could see the beauty in most things. That was a lie.
My thoughts about myself were a significant problem. During the first ceremony, I felt the unconditional love that my Creator had for me immensely. It was amazing! In my life, I had never known what unconditional love felt like, and I still remember that feeling today.
I knew at the time I had to model that for myself. After an ayahuasca experience, the medicine just keeps on working, and I spent the next five months integrating the knowledge I gained from those two ceremonies.
More recently I was able to travel to Peru where the medicinal experience was quite different. If you know anything about ayahuasca, you know that each ceremony is unique depending on your intention. I spent two weeks there. I experienced three ayahuasca ceremonies and a San Pedro ceremony. Madre Ayahuasca told me to start microdosing the vine, to share the medicine, and inspire hope in others who use it. This is my intention for this website and blog.
Microdosing kept Mama Aya’s teachings with me long after I left Peru so that I could continue learning and sharing with others. Once I put the concoction together, I started putting drops under my tongue in the morning and right before I went to bed. While the drops were under my tongue, I was told to meditate. My meditations are amazing and profoundly inspiring now.
The belief in my childhood family was that I was "to be seen but not heard." Because of this, I went through life thinking my feelings and thoughts didn’t matter. For years I looked at myself as a victim. That put me in many situations to be victimized even more. More than anything, I had to forgive myself for not knowing my worth as my Creator saw and sees me, and not to judge the people I felt hurt me.
Through ayahuasca and the universal love of nature, the universe, and my Creator, I found the necessary self-love my parents didn’t have the tools to teach me. This was the key to my healing.
I can appreciate it now because I have learned that TRUE LOVE COMES FROM WITHIN and not from anyone else. It doesn’t come from "if you do this the way I want you to, I will love you." That isn’t the unconditional love our Creator has for us.
I was given a very special gift when I came into this world. I was born an Empath. I am now starting to use this gift in the right way. I am learning the difference between other people’s feelings and my own. I can protect myself now, and I hope to help and guide you as well!
We are all made of love and light, and every single one of you is worthy and deserving of true self-love!